Campbell Bain

[Video is turned on. Campbell is not looking very pleased. He's also sitting somewhere not easily recognisable, leaning against a wall.]

I think I've been calm. I've been very calm. I calmly contacted the police a few days ago. [Blatant lie about the calm bit. In general.] I calmly waited for them t' find something. But I'm no doin' this traditionally anymore cos I'm bloody fed up. So you! Bastard who broke in and stole my record player! You'd best return it or else I will find you, and you willnae like what happens next. D'you hear me? I'm givin' y' one last chance tae return it, no questions asked, and then I'm coming after you! [And as an afterthought:] And return Curt's pin y' stole, too.

[This means something occurs to him, apparently.]

Curt, how d'you get your cat t' stop attacking your feet? Cos it willnae stop. I tried t' make friends and then it came in and started attacking them. I had t' climb on top of my chest a drawers.

[Camera swoops around to demonstrate. The cat isn't in the room. Campbell really is hunched on top of a chest of drawers. Camera back to his face.]

It was the only place high enough t' make it stop but now I don't wanna climb down cos it'll probably come back and it actually hurts cos it's got bloody sharp claws and everything. It might just be my socks but I don't want t' take them off in case it isnae. It'd take away my last protective layer and I'd rather keep walking, honestly. I don't have anything up here t' distract it, either. And I don't know where it is...


[ooc: So, uh. This is the thing that will keep him in one place long enough to be speed-dated over the device. If....you so choose.]